What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are some reasons why men may not want to date a woman who can pay her own bills?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Are Turks ashamed of their Islamic heritage?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Do airline pilots try to avoid turbulence? How can you tell if your flight has been rerouted due to weather conditions or other factors?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.